Equal Strength

We are fooling ourselves if we think other people have stronger abilities then our own in dealing  with life’s challenges. We are all of equal strength. Simply look at where you were last year. See what I mean? :-) ~Kim

Let Go of Your Story

How many times have you shared your story of heartbreak and been advised to simply, “let it go?”

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      I’ve always fought internally with that advice, often stepping back from the conversation feeling defensive and misunderstood.
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      I am coming to realize this week that “letting go” may not be about disposing of the past but rather about letting go of the internal story we’ve created within ourselves about our past.

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     We are all vulnerable to making a past injury into our identity.  We obsess about our story, we magnify it, we add to it, we revise it, we create new scenarios. It’s human nature.
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     But how do these stories, these beliefs make you feel? When you are dwelling on your story or stuck in your often self-injurious or self-righteous belief how do you feel? How do you treat others? How do you treat yourself? Do you eat little more, drink a few too many, sleep a little too much?
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     NOW,  how would you be without your story? What if the story you’ve created – with all its additions, revisions and added meanings – did not exist? How would you feel now? I’m not talking about pretending that the past didn’t happen. It did. It is what it is. We can’t erase the past. I am talking about the story that you have created in your mind. Who would you be without your story?
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      Letting go is not about forgetting the past. It’s about letting go of your story. It’s about realizing that your story serves no other purpose than to invoke feelings of stress, anxiety, frustration, confusion, and anger.

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     It is our thoughts that are now causing us to continually relive the painful past. It is our story that has some of us believing that we are broken, are unlovable, and are unworthy of another’s love. And when we believe these things about ourselves, we act accordingly. We eat more than we should, we drink to numb ourselves, we look to others to make us happy, we pick partners that mirror our feelings of unworthiness. These are the ones that arrive late to pick us up, that don’t call for days, that forget our birthdays, that basically treat us as we feel about ourselves.

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     But is it true? Has your past really left you broken, unworthy, unlovable? Is it absolutely true?

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     Until we see the reality of our true natures – that we are not broken, that we are whole and complete, that we are lovable and that we are so very, very worthy of another’s love – we will continue to hang on to our stories.

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     You are not your story. Let it go. Let the story go.

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© Kim Kabar, 2011 (www.hungry4less.com)

Your Scale Does Not Define You

Part 1 of Byron Katie doing The Work with woman who believes she is fat

This is the 1st part of Byron Katie doing The Work with a woman who believes that she is too fat. Each part is about 3 minutes long. Watch in order. Very powerful.

Part 2 of Byron Katie doing The Work with Woman who believes she is fat

This is the 2nd part of Byron Katie doing The Work with a woman who believes that she is too fat. Each part is about 3 minutes long. Watch in order. Very powerful.

Part 3 of Byron Katie doing The Work with woman who believes she is too fat

This is the 3rd part of Byron Katie doing The Work with a woman who believes that she is too fat. Each part is about 3 minutes long. Watch in order. Very powerful.

Drop the Rock

It  doesn’t matter how horrendous, painful and heart-stabbing the actions of others have been upon us --  whether it was childhood classmates laughing at us or a high school crush rejecting us or our mother abandoning us or a trusted adult molesting us. If we take another person’s hurtful actions to mean that we are unworthy, unlovable, broken, or defective then our misery is of our own making. They committed the offense but we are the ones who gave it meaning and who drag it behind us every day. ~Kim

Work in Progress

Often the topics that I cover during the Hungry for Less workshop are not just lessons that I have learned, they are lessons that I am still learning, still trying to grasp, and, sometimes, still fighting against.

 

This week's lesson is particularly difficult for me -- I have made such progress in dealing with the problems that once paralyzed me in my bed with a pint of ice cream and a bag of tortilla chips but I am still a work in progress. I still have issues that I don't want to face.

 

 Last night's meeting was powerful for me. Do you realize, my sweetpeas, that when you share your lives, your struggles and your pains, you are not only helping the other HFL participants, you are also helping me? Thank you.

Listen to the voice

Change is hard. Even when that little voice in our head is endlessly peck, peck, pecking in our minds that things are not okay. We dismiss that voice by QUESTIONING ourselves, by RATIONALIZING away our concerns, by DOWNPLAYING the problem and by BLAMING ourselves. But the voice in our head persists and it will continue to persist until we face our fears and deal with the issue. Stop dismissing the voice in your head. Acknowledge it. Listen to it.  Ask for its help.  Trust it will provide the answers you need.

When Food Is Love

The sad reality is that most women fear food. We fear every morsal and crumb that goes into our mouths. "OMG, how many calories is in this?" "I better not eat that! It'll make me fat." This is the reality of many women. It is a sad way to live.

Hungry for Less offers women an opportunity to transform their relationship with food from one of fear to one of love. Now this doesn't mean that with a newfound love for food that my participants will suddenly feel free to binge and eat everything in sight. That is not love. Love is kind, balanced, compassionate. Love does not hurt.Love does not cause turmoil, angst, or self loathing. Using food to numb emotions is not love.

Eating food to sustain oneself and give it pleasure when the body is hungry -- now that is love. ~Kim
http://www.hungry4less.com/

Love Letter to You

Dear wonderful, beautiful woman:

I am so deeply commited to you. I will not give up on you. These may sound like odd words coming from a stranger but trust me, I know you more than you think... I know that you beat yourself up a lot because you feel you lack willpower and self-control when it comes to food. I know that you have made dozen attempts to lose weight and have been unable to maintain any of the weight loss you acheived.. thus, you often feel like a failure when it comes to losing weight. I know that you put everyone needs before your own. I know that you hate your body. I know that you often eat in secrecy -- often using food to numb your frustrations, stress, boredom and pain.

My dear beautiful soul, I want you to consider being unreasonable. What does that mean? It means that you make a commitment to yourself and your needs and you then refuse to allow anyone or anything to derail your commitment.

There was something that attracted you to read this Hungry for Less blog and/or my Hungry for Less website. A voice within telling you to check it out, telling you that my group might be the one program that is daring and caring enough to get to the core of why you are using food to numb yourself. Listen to that voice, my friend.

Be unreasonable.  Your first step toward empowerment, freedom and self-love is being unreasonable when it comes to sticking with your commitment to yourself.

My commitment to you is unwavering. Learn about Hungry for Less, attend our workhop if you are in the Long Beach area, if you're out of the area consider calling me about being your personal weight loss coach and, please, get a book on emotional eating and begin understanding what is at the core of why you overeat. Take the first step toward healing yourself. You will not find healing by going on yet another diet.  

You  beating yourself up day after day after day is not helping any of the people you say that you love. In fact, you are hurting them. Your obsession with your weight and with food is blinding you to feeling the fullness of their love. Love them by loving yourself.

I am grateful for the words of admiration that are so lovingly bestowed upon me by the women whom I help but I want you to do more than admire me from a distance… I want you to walk beside me .. come with me on this amazing journey.. begin to admire yourself… be unreasonable… take the first step.

I love you.

Kim, Founder
Hungry for Less
http://www.hungry4less.com/

Never Give Up

When one is truly committed to helping others, that person refuses to get attached to the obstacles they face -- the rejection, the cynicsm and the doubt that may be thrown their way. The moment you attach yourself to those obstacles is the moment your committment wavers. Stay committed -- do not shrink in the face of adversity. Remain true to your passion. Never give up. Never give up.

Wanting to Reach More Women

I am a believer that things happen for a reason. Woman in San Francisco called me asking me if my "weight clinic" sells Phentermine. I could hear the desperation in her voice. My heart aches for her. I remember to well that feeling of powerlessness and desperation. I told her no. She hung up. I later texted her, suggested she get a particular book that helped me. I pray she doesn't dismiss my suggestion. I wish I could help more women. It so saddens me to hear their pain.

Road of denial

"We stand alone at the kitchen counter mindlessly eating whatever food will curb our boredom, or our stress, or our anxiousness and wonder later why we gained a pound that week. We blame it on water retention, we blame it on our last meal, we blame it on the scale. We don't want to admit to others or even to ourselves that we are using food to fill our aching hearts. We don't want to admit to ourselves that we don't know what to do, that we are frightened of what seems like an insurmountable task -- that of losing 20, 30, 50 pounds. And so we continue our pattern, we continue eating to numb our emotions, we continue gaining weight, we continue on the road of denial." ~Kim Kabar, "Hungry for Less: Transform Your Relationship with Food ... Forever. www.hungry4less.com

It's showtime!!!

Paul and I did our first radio show!! IT was sooo much fun! Feel free to take a listen by clicking on this link:
http://gvbradio.com/archives/dennismason-090311.mp3

Stop the Insanity!

The multi-billion dollar weight loss industry is telling women what to eat, how to eat, and when to eat. We are being told to become dependent on diet foods and diet shakes and diet pills and food plans and we are depriving ourselves of foods, of freedom and of fun.

It gets worse. We are NOW being bombarded by advertisements screaming at us that the best way to lose weight is by cutting out half our stomachs, or rearranging our small intestines to newly formed stomach pockets or surgically placing a band around the top portion of our stomachs to control the amount of food we intake.

Through all these weight loss programs, women are being told not to trust themselves. And, sadly, we are believing this stuff!! I am here to tell you that IT IS NOT TRUE!! We can trust ourselves. There is another way to get healthy and fit and to manage your weight. A healthier more empowering way that doesn't rely on food plans, deprivation techniques, calorie counting or food and weight loss products.

I founded Hungry for Less because I want to save women's lives.

What do you think is happening to our bodies when we gain and lose and gain and lose 100s of pounds over the course of our lives? What is happening to our bodies when we continually deprive then satiate ourselves through binging with food?

We are killing ourselves.

I created Hungry for Less out of my love for women. I created Hungry for Less to compassionately guide you toward understanding the link between your emotions and your eating and to give you empowering weight loss tools that aren't dependent on products.

We are a fiery, strong, powerful bunch and, dammit, if I am going to sit by and watch more women feel broken, defeated and powerless because yet another diet didn't work and they can't achieve that "perfect" image of a woman that screams out as us from every television, movie screen and magazine.

I founded Hungry for Less and co-created this 8-week program with my partner, Paul, a veteran in the field of transformational education, to save women's lives, to reignite their spirits and to give them empowering tools to lose weight and keep it off.  In 8-weeks, we give you what you need to make a lifestyle change that will give you peace, weight loss and empowerment.

Being Audaciously Bold and Fearless

I have a dream. 


I have a dream that weight-loss centers throughout our nation will finally address the number one reason why most women overeat. 


Emotional eating. 


Since I don't see them doing it anytime soon, I am taking the lead.


 I am audaciously bold and fearless. 


I am bringing emotional eating out of the closet and creating a safe environment for women to finally understand that it truly is okay to feel, that we need not continue to numb our emotions -- our fears, our stress, our anxiousness, our loneliness -- with food. 


Be audacious. Be bold. Be fearless. I am.